To Safiya, with Love.

Sauntering within the confines of the place we once shared as home , I see that they’ve torn down most of it but as I look around, I realise that there’s more that adorns the walls than the pictures that hung not so long ago. It seems minute now. The light of your presence no longer lingers to illuminate the hallways of this dwelling. You left behind so much more than just your light. Your faint scent dawdles mixing with the delectable scents of the summer breeze creating the most fragrant concoction. I pick up a piece of the cracked glass on the floor of what used to be the kitchen and I’m instantly taken aback to the memories of our play-dates ....

 I’m reminiscent of the days we used too much soap whilst doing the dishes which led to a very predictable mishap and the next thing we heard was the shattering of mother’s favourite China. At that point of time, our young impressionable minds were led to believe that this was an unforgivable catastrophe, so we mutually agreed to bury them in the muddy alley behind the house. I still cannot forget the sonorous clattering of that ridiculous blue China and our failed attempt at destroying the evidence.

You were always there after the rug had been pulled from under my feet. No matter how dark the ages of my adolescence were, you’d always pull the sheets away from my face and patiently sit by my bed and analyse the reason behind my tears. To everyone else I was a cobbled web of undecipherable feelings, but you untangled each thread and saw past all my imperfections. Even when times were hard and all I could do was hope against hope, you were there to make me do just the opposite! Our bedroom walls are a testament of the unconditional love between us and every layer of paint they brushed over our creative mural scribbling doesn’t tarnish the memory of those golden years of childhood. I walk over into what used to be our bedroom and I’m overwhelmed by the rummage.  I stare into the air blurry eyed and suddenly there you were sitting by the window sill calling out names of the kids playing in the street , and ducking the moment they followed your voice to the window. Paradoxical as it may seem, you were quite the bully at times.

My attempt at fighting back the tears is hopeless and I let them roll down my cheeks. This is the inevitable cycle of life; things grow old, become irreparable, and succumb!  Yet we find the power in us to disregard the riveting layers of sentiments and emotion and pretend to move on. Some of us have the alternative of distorting reality whereas some of us cannot afford that luxury. Whilst our dream of showing our future children our childhood home is shattered, I pray that our bond only gets stronger with the passing of years. How I longed for the structure to remain eternally erect. But now that all is done and the walls have crumbled, I deem only my heart a befitting mausoleum to the testament of our love.

No amount of words would do justice to all you’ve done and continue to do for me. From you I learned to hope, to love unconditionally and most importantly to dream without limitation. Qualities as pure as your name connotes! Your erudition is simply beyond compare and your approval has always been my paramount concern even in the most rudimentary of all things. I cannot look back and think of a moment when I did not feel blessed in your company.  As you embark upon your journey to nothing less than success, know that I’ll always be there to shield you from the impetuous winds and storms.

May Allah protect you always! I love you and always will! J